Digital Detoxing in the Philippines

Currently Listening to: Kacey Musgraves whole discography (except the Christmas album because I hear too much Christmas music just existing in the Philippines right now – everyone starts playing Christmas music in like September).

Currently Reading: Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me (And Other Concerns) by Mindy Kaling – I’m not saying Mindy Kaling can see the future, pero she has that one chapter where she lists the different franchises she wants to see get a reboot and I really think she wished into existence the Ocean’s 8 (which she was IN! What the!) and the all female Ghostbusters remake.

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The Philippines loves technology. Actually, the country loves gid (add ”gid” to anything for emPHAsis) technology. Facebook is huge here, probably because it’s free. When I say free, I mean that you can go on a free version of Facebook without data, so as long as you have signal, you have connection to the Internet. Wait, WHAT? You have INTERNET? Aren’t you supposed to be in Peace Corps like living in huts because you’re a Benevolent American Roughing It In The Sad, Needy, Third World Country?

Please take a moment to consider the following:

1. Some volunteers have air conditioning, house helpers, and easy access to the mall. Others live without electricity. Every experience is different, and while your access to certain resources is definitely a factor on how comfortable you feel at site, you’re not a “better” or more “legit” volunteer for living with less.

2. That’s pretty messed up if you assume everyone lives in huts around here. The Philippines has both extreme poverty and extreme wealth, just like in the States [cue shock]

3. “Third World” is an archaic term from the Cold War era, and became shorthand for countries that suffer from extreme poverty. As I mentioned in #2, there’s extreme economic disparity in both the U.S. (a “First World” nation) and the Philippines.

4. I kind of hate the idea of the Benevolent American™. While I do want to make a positive impact in my Filipino community, see the value in cultural exchange, and believe I can offer a new set of eyes and perspective to problems, the Philippines won’t suddenly solve all its problems because a Nice Westerner™ waltzed her way into town to show them The American Way ™*.

AS I WAS SAYING, social media plays a big part in the daily lives of the Filipinos I interact with daily, and it continues to play a role in my life. Part of your commitment to the Peace Corps is accepting that you’ll most likely miss big events in your life. Sure, you get 2 days of annual leave per month in service, but it takes a lot of kwarta (moolah; bread; money) to make it back to the States for a visit, and you probably should stay for longer than a weekend to make it worthwhile. Personally, I had to relinquish my bridesmaid duty to my high school friends Bonnie and Ian (hi pals, I miss you!). I’ve never been asked to be a bridesmaid before, and I can’t even go to the wedding! But that’s what you miss.

The internet will not let you forget that you’re missing these things. Like, I get it! The State Fair of Texas is fun and you love your fried-everything! I get it! You went to Austin City Limits and saw our Lord and Savior Janelle Monae in person AND the Arctic Monkeys and Henry and the Whoositswhatsits™ (that’s a made up band name but I’m going to trademark that too)! I get it! UT won the Red River Rivalry and Texas Football is BACK**! I write all of this with exasperation because I am extremely jealous of those who get to attend these events back in Texas, and suffer from a serious case of FOMO (Fear of Missing Out). FOMO makes you wish you could teleport and be somewhere else. It takes me out of the moment, and makes me miss out on what’s happening with me here and now. FOMO is a fun-sucker!

I’m only one month into my service, and I’ve lived in the Philippines for over 3 months (tadpole status), but I have an ever-growing list of things I miss. For example, I would do anything for Taco Bell, Chili’s, unsweet spaghetti. These are mostly food related because I don’t need people! Mom? Dad? Close friends? Who cares. But a Crunch Wrap Supreme? Ohhhh yeah. I miss that stuff like crazy. Even though I wish I could have all of these things, I also am extremely grateful to be in the Philippines, learning about my family’s culture from the Motherland itself. Honestly, I was driving myself crazy thinking by idly tapping through other people’s Instagram stories of them at ACL, or liking their posts of TX/OU weekend. My sweet friend Maeghan suggested doing a social media cleanse last weekend, to practice being present, and I took up the challenge after hearing her talk about it. Cue ya girl’s first ever Digital Detox!!!

Cutting social media out of my life didn’t give me the wisdom of the world, but I did engage more with the people around me more often. I’m so easily lulled into using my phone, it’s my safety blanket when I feel awkward. I feel awkward often. Most people communicate in Hiligaynon, and I have the language capacity of a small child. Smaller actually. Children learn languages fast because their brains are so plastic and wonderful! Even though it was a little uncomfortable, I left my safety blanket at bay for the weekend and nodded with enthusiasm in group conversations, rather than look immediately at my phone. There were times I tapped my Instagram app without even thinking about it, and immediately made myself exit the app. I will say, I did accidentally see some sweet, sweet content from Ragan, but I don’t really count it because I helped her pick the photo in question a few hours prior to seeing it online.

I love the internet. I love how it connects us to our loved ones, even if their time-zone is 12 hours behind yours. I love the Vine compilations it allows me to watch (R.I.P. in Peace, Vine), and how it keeps me up to date on politics (EVERYONE, PLEASE VOTE THIS MIDTERM!). But it also induces anxiety for me. I use a lot of mental bandwidth thinking about ideal times to post a photo to garner the most likes, and what my online persona looks like to others. Caring about what others think of you all the time is hard work, and a break ever now and then from these apps, even for a few days, allows me to forget about the byte-sized things I typically think about and exist in the real world for a minute (I love that I made that pun. I made it because I’m thinking about “Take a Byte” by Janelle Monae and I’m so funny! Punny! Ha! Please laugh oh my god).

*there’s a lot of trademarking in this. Believe me when I say I trademarked all of these terms.

**I’d like to note that I had to go to every single football game in high school because I was in band, and I still have no idea how the game works. I like the hype around football though, mostly because football in Texas (at the high school and collegiate level) includes fun halftime shows from the band and cheerleaders being thrown into the air and glitzy dance performances. It’s FUN.